Valentine's Day Massacre
by Living in a fantasy
Summary: Mello wants to go somewhere for Valentine 's Day. Matt just wants to stay home and have sex. Before the night is over, Mello will be wishing he'd given in to his favorite redhead.


AN: I know, I know this is really late. Sorry guys. I had a rough time with this oneshot, and school sucks, and it took ages to finish. But hey, late Valentine's Day fic ftw? :D In fun news, I went to Anime Milwaukee this weekend and met RhetoricalJeevas. That was fun, she's pretty cool. It inspired me to put off homework and get this done haha. Hope you all enjoy!

/…/…/…/

Mello blinked his eyes open groggily on Sunday morning, squinting at the sunlight streaming through the smudged windows. He could hear the sound of car horns blaring from the streets below and growled to himself. Wasn't Sunday supposed to be the day of rest? Seriously, was it that hard to be quiet at seven in the morning?

Annoyed because the world was being noisy, not so much because he was still tired, Mello rolled over to the edge of the bed and sat up. He stretched, glancing behind him at the still sleeping redhead. He probably wouldn't be up for another three to four hours. Mello shuffled towards the door but shivered slightly, pausing to throw on a t-shirt on his way to the kitchen. He started a pot of coffee, knowing Matt would want some anyway when he got up, and flopped onto the couch. He watched the blank TV set for a little while before finally flipping on the news, eyes dull in the flickering light from the screen. He didn't move again until the coffee was finished, getting himself a cup and sipping it.

Soon the newscaster was talking about Valentine's Day, and Mello sighed to himself, leaning his head against the back of the couch. Valentine's Day was tomorrow, and he wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do. Did he plan some stupid, cliché date? Did he keep it simple with a small gift and watch a movie at home? Or did he ignore it entirely?

Mello really wasn't sure. He'd been kind of dating Matt last year, but they weren't really "official" back then. So this was their first year as an actual couple but…they just didn't do the whole dinner and a movie thing. Never had, actually. They'd gone out to eat together, or hung out in town or stuff, but never one of those big date nights.

Mello glared at the TV. Why should a stupid holiday like Valentine's Day exist? Why should there be one day a year to be all romantic and crap? Why did the news insist on making him feel guilty for not having anything planned?

Mello turned off the TV, grabbed a book, and curled up on the couch to read. He'd think about it later.

Mello was still reading two hours later when Matt stumbled out of their bedroom and into the kitchen. He stared blearily at the coffee pot then fumbled for a mug, pouring himself coffee and looking around for Mello. Spotting him on the couch, he made his way over and practically fell to the cushions. "Sup?" he asked.

"You're so articulate in the morning," Mello said, turning a page and not glancing up from his book. "I'm surprised you're up already."

"Car horns and sirens and crap," he mumbled from around his cup. Mello said nothing, and the boys sat in silence for a while. Matt eventually set his empty mug on the coffee table in front of him and leaned against Mello, looking at the book. "I'm hungry."

"Go eat," Mello said nonchalantly.

"I'm tired. Make me something."

"Make your own damn breakfast," Mello said, still not looking up from his book.

"Mello," he whined, drawing out the blond's name obnoxiously.

"No."

"Please?"

"Leave me alone."

"Mels, I love you. I love you so much." Matt wrapped his arms around Mello's neck.

"Would you leave me the fuck alone?" Mello growled, trying and failing to push the other boy off him.

"I will if you make me breakfast." He smiled charmingly.

Mello rolled his eyes. "That's such a lie." Nevertheless he stood, shaking his annoying boyfriend off him and storming towards the kitchen. "But toast is all you're getting, got it?"

"You're the best, Mel," Matt said, laying across the couch and sighing in content. He drifted off until he heard the sound of a plate smashing down onto the table in front of him. "Thank you," he practically sang, sitting up and grabbing the toast.

Mello watched as the redhead made quick work of the toast. Seemingly rejuvenated, he leapt up, turned on the TV, and quickly switched the input to set up one of his games. He plopped back down on the couch and began playing. "I'm going to take a shower," Mello told him, leaving the room, thinking, not for the first time, about how weird his boyfriend was.

/…/…/…/

It was nearing the end of the day and Matt was still playing video games. "Want Chinese?" Mello called from the kitchen.

"Sure."

Mello called in their usual order and sauntered back into the living room, falling to the couch besides Matt. "What do you want to do tomorrow?" he asked.

"What?" Matt's eyes were narrowed in concentration as he played.

"What should we do tomorrow?" Mello asked again, annoyance slipping into his voice. As if it wasn't humiliating enough to be asking in the first place.

"What's tomorrow?" Matt grumbled.

"Valentine's Day!" Mello snapped, smacking Matt lightly on the shoulder. "Get your head out of your games once in a while."

"Right, right, of course," Matt said, leaning forward. There was a tense silence for several seconds, Mello steadily growing more annoyed before Matt spoke. "Why don't we just stay in? I don't like people and you'll just end up killing a happy couple or something."

"I will not!"

Matt glanced at him quickly before drawing his eyes back to his game. "Remember a couple months ago when we went to dinner?"

"That doesn't count!" Mello yelled.

"Why not?"

Mello's eyes hardened. "First off, when I think 'happy couple,' I don't think of a gang member and a prostitute. Secondly, when I run back inside because I dropped my chocolate bar and come back to find said gang member harassing you, I have permission to do whatever I please to him."

Matt smirked. "How kinky of you."

Mello glared. "You are the only person I know capable of getting into that much trouble when I leave you alone for two minutes."

"I was fine."

"He had a gun!"

Matt grinned triumphantly after finally finishing the boss, victory music filling the air of the small apartment. "I wasn't hurt," he said, saving his game and turning towards Mello.

"He had a gun and pointed it at me when I showed up, so I shot him. Now can we please get back on the topic on what you want to do for the goddamn holiday!" Mello snapped.

Matt sighed, cracking his knuckles after the long hours of game play. "Seriously Mels, let's just stay in. If we go out we have to fight the crowds and we'll probably just get a lot of strange looks. I'd rather avoid all that."

To be honest, staying in was an appealing thought, but it _was_ a holiday. A cheesy, over promoted, greeting card holiday, but a holiday nonetheless. They sat around doing nothing every day, so they should go out and do something at least once in a while. "All you do is sit on your ass and play those games all day. Tomorrow we're going to go out somewhere," he stated.

Matt shrugged. "If you say so."

"I do."

"You're just going to get pissed and shoot someone again."

"I will not."

Matt leaned back against the couch, yawning. "Well if you're paying, why not?"

A spark of annoyance flared but Mello forced it back, since he'd technically been the one to ask the redhead out. "Fine, we'll leave at seven."

Matt smiled mockingly. "You better pick me up a little late baby, because I just don't know what I'll wear for such an important date."

"I hate you."

"Love you too!" he said brightly.

/…/…/…/

"Am I supposed to dress up?" Matt asked later the next day. Their date was rapidly approaching and he had felt the first tug of nervousness. He didn't want to look like a total slob or anything. Mello called something from the bedroom but Matt couldn't hear, so he trudged his way towards their room, leaping over the discarded Chinese cartons from the night before. "What?"

Mello was standing at the dresser, digging through the stuffed drawer, obviously looking for something. "I said not stripes would be nice, but it's not too fancy so you don't need a suit or something."

"Not ripped jeans?" Matt asked grimly.

"Afraid not," Mello stated without sympathy.

Matt sighed and shuffled his way towards his closet, opening it and swiftly stepping back. He glanced in cautiously, but the stack of junk on the top shelf didn't fall. He reached his hand into the closet, feeling against the wall until he found the shirt he was looking for. "W00t!" he cheered in victory, pulling the white button up shirt from his closet. He tossed his stripes to the ground and pulled on the new shirt, nose wrinkling at the stiffness. "Hey Mels…do I own anything that's not jeans?"

"Why the fuck are you asking me?" Mello asked, already dressed in a pair of black trousers and a dark blue button up shirt. He had moved to the mirror and was messing with his hair.

"Because you keep better track of my clothes than me?" Matt questioned, moving to the dresser and looking for something he owned that was not denim or sweats. He was not having much luck. "Um, I'm not sure I have any…"

"It's not that fancy," Mello said flippantly. "Do you have nice jeans? Ones without holes and are presentable?"

"Yeah." Matt finally found them, kicking off his worn jeans. He caught Mello watching and smirked. "Like what you see?"

Arms wrapped around his waist from behind, a curtain of golden hair falling across his shoulder. "Do you even have to ask?" he murmured, nipping at the redhead's neck.

"Now, now, can't miss that date you're determined to take me on. Too bad we didn't just stay in or we could both be taking clothes off," Matt chastised, turning in Mello's grasp to place a sweet kiss on his lips.

"Such a tease," Mello said, tightening his hands around Matt's waist and pulling him closer.

Matt just continued to smirk and wriggled away, pulling his jeans on. "Plenty of time for that later. Now come on, you're already late picking me up. What kind of date are you?"

Mello rolled his eyes but sped from the room. Matt blinked and the sound of knocking came not a minute later. Chuckling to himself, Matt moved towards the apartment door, pulling it open, an exaggerated smile twisting on his face. "Mello! Hi!"

"Sorry I'm late," Mello said, voice so sickeningly sweet that Matt had to bite his lip to prevent himself from laughing. "I hope you weren't waiting long."

Matt busted out laughing. "I can't handle gentleman Mello, I just can't," he said. Mello pretended to look offended but it didn't last long. Instead, he grabbed Matt's arm and propelled him into the hall, closing and locking the wooden door behind them.

"Shut up and let's go," he said, arm snaking possessively around the gamers waist and tugging him close. Matt's laughter finally diminished and they walked in comfortable silence towards the elevator. Matt pressed the down button and the two stood, waiting for the elevator to arrive. Bored, Mello pressed his lips to Matt's hungrily for a moment, pulling back to look the boy up and down, a predatory gleam in his eye. "You look good dressed up." He blinked as if just noticing something and tapped at Matt's goggles. "You should take them off."

Matt's hands rose to clasp the straps defensively. "Why?"

Mello stared at him blankly. "Do you really need to ask that?"

Matt turned away and watched the elevator door. "They're stylin'."

Mello rolled his eyes and tugged at them until Matt related, and the goggles fell to dangle around his neck. "At least let me see your eyes tonight, okay?"

"Fine," Matt huffed, but shot his boyfriend a quick smile. The elevator door finally pinged open, the girl who lived a couple doors down stumbling out with a guy attached to her lips. Her eyes flickered open quickly as Matt and Mello slipped to the side to let them pass. She unclenched her hand from the guy's hair to give a flick of the hand that could be interpreted as a wave before dragging him closer. "See? We could be doing that right now," Matt said, stepping into the elevator.

Mello followed, pressing him to the wall as the door closed. "We can still do that now," he suggested.

"Making out comes after the date," Matt pointed out.

Mello practically pouted, causing Matt's grin to widen. "Not always."

"This is your own fault," he said, lifting a hand to the blonds' chest to keep him at a distance. Mello forced his way forward, trapping Matt's hand between them and crushing their lips together. Matt put up absolutely no resistance at first, then wrenched his head to the side abruptly. "Hey, no means no," he teased.

Groaning, Mello pulled back just as the door opened on the ground floor. He gestured for Matt to go ahead and followed him to the car. "I think I've just realized why we never go on dates," he grumbled. "I don't _need_ to talk you up and get to know you to have sex with you."

"Better watch what you say tonight then."

"Worst idea I've ever had," Mello growled to himself as Matt's musical laughter echoed through the night air. He slammed the door shut and turned the key in the ignition, the car sputtering for a moment before finally turning on. The creak of leather came as Matt sat in the passenger seat, buckling up and picking at the ripping leather. He'd forced himself to leave all his handhelds inside, and already he could feel the ache to play. He hated car rides. "Would you stop picking at that?"

Matt sighed theatrically, crossing his arms. "Why does it matter? The car is a piece of shit anyway. We should have taken mine, or your bike."

"I wasn't wasting the time fixing your flat tire, and we were not taking the bike. Now shut up."

Mello would come to regret that decision very, very soon.

Barely halfway to whatever restaurant Mello had chosen, they ran out of gas.

And Mello was not happy.

"Goddammit what the fuck, how can we be out of gas? There was a quarter of a tank left when I got back the other day!"

Matt growled in agitation. "Mello, you never let your tank get below a quarter of a tank when it's cold out! Everyone knows that."

Mello kicked the vehicle, as if that would make some sort of difference, then slammed his body back against the car, gaze scorching the city. When the car had begun to slow down the blond had pulled over, cursing when stepping into a pile of cold, blackened slush. While ranting and parading about, Matt had simply left the car to lean against it, lazily smoking a cigarette and watching the smoke rise to join the already overpopulate smog in the air. The general public was so used to seeing people throw fits on the side of the street that they didn't get a second glance from most of them.

When Mello had finally calmed down Matt convinced him to walk to the gas station with him five blocks away to get gas. It was a pain, but at last they were in the car and made it to the restaurant with little difficulty.

The duo exited the car and moved towards the entrance. The parking lot was packed with cars, and one swerving into the lot would have slammed into them if they hadn't jumped back in time. Mello nearly went after the guy but Matt steered him inside, both freezing at the line.

They could barely make out the faded 'Please Wait to be Seated' sign amid the mass of bodies. The restaurant wasn't a really fancy one set for couples on their special night, but a family one. Amid the cozy couples were families with screaming and crying children. Mello's face turned stony. He hated children.

Matt's face had also hardened, not being particularly fond of them either. They were loud, rude, and threw temper tantrums (though oddly, Mello had similar traits and Matt wasn't repulsed by him) and he hated crowds in general, so this promised to not be the best evening of his life.

After waiting nearly twenty minutes they were finally seated. Unfortunately, they were seated next to a family, parents with their two children, one of them a toddler. The little boy was slamming his hands against the table. Matt could feel the headache forming already. "You know, somewhere with less families might have been nice," he grumbled.

Mello scowled. "Well excuse me for trying to be considerate. I knew you'd be uncomfortable if I took you somewhere really nice." He glared as the waitress said she'd be right with them for the third time. "I'll remember next time we go out, I'll take you to a fancy place that requires a suit and tie."

"This is fine," he mumbled, futzing with the table cloth. By the time the waitress finally came to their table they were ready to order. Her face was flaming red and her sandy, curly hair was a tangled mess around her face. She scribbled down their orders furiously then rushed off without grabbing the menus.

"I didn't think it would be _this_ busy," Mello said after a long silence.

"No one wants to cook on Valentine's day I guess," Matt said, shrugging. The waitress returned practically dropping the drinks as a guy at the table beside them started yelling for her. She grabbed their menus and turned away. Matt sipped at his soda and gazed around the restaurant. They wouldn't get their food for ages.

An awkward silence rose around them for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say to each other on this official "romantic" date. Matt unrolled the silverware and fiddled with the napkin as Mello leaned back, keen eyes taking in the restaurant. He hated having his back to the door.

A little girl across the room shrieked and Matt winced, sighing slightly in agitation. Mello threw him a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, it is rather loud. Maybe this wasn't the best idea on such short notice."

Matt shrugged. "Whatever, if you want to do it I don't care."

"How selfless of you."

Matt reached for his pocket then paused, remembering he couldn't light up inside. "That's just the kind of guy I am," he remarked flippantly.

"Excuse me," a mousy lady said suddenly, pausing at their table. She was young, frizzy hair escaping the ponytail she'd obviously failed to master flying across her face. She pushed her glasses up her nose slightly, looking at the duo. "Um, did you have your order taken?"

"Yes," Mello replied smoothly.

"Oh! Sorry! I'm new so I don't understand the table placement well yet," she mumbled, trying to gain sympathy. It was ineffective. "So going stag for Valentine's day? I'm surprised you two don't have dates," she stammered awkwardly, taking several steps backwards to make her retreat and find a table she'd be getting tips for.

"We have dates," Mello said, tone noticeably cooler as he eyed the girl.

"Oh?"

"Each other." The duo could see the moment comprehension filled her eyes. She took a step back hastily, mumbling under her breath. "Got a problem?" Mello's eyes had turned icy and the girl quickly shook her head, ramming into the table behind her and jostling the dishes.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" she said, apologizing hurriedly then giving Matt and Mello another look before rushing off. Mello's hands unclenched from his sides and he turned towards Matt. "Can't fucking stand people," he complained.

"It's fine, she's not our waitress," he consoled, looking over the blond's shoulder. The waitress was speaking to their waitress now, both sneaking fugitive glances at them. Well that couldn't be a good thing. Matt sighed to himself, wondering why nothing could ever seem to go smoothly when Mello and him left the house together for an extended period of time. "What should we do when we get home?" Matt asked, trying to ignore the fact that they were being stared at.

Mello looked him up and down exaggeratedly and Matt couldn't stop the laugh that rose within him. "Is that all you think about?" he asked, unsurprised. Mello said nothing, just continued to stare at him. "Nothing creative or cheesy in mind?"

"You want to curl up on the couch and watch a chick flick?" Mello asked. "Or, should I rush into our bedroom ahead of you and light candles to set the mood before I fuck you? As long as we don't knock down the candles it's fine, but I was thinking it's time we spice things up a bit, see how fucking you on the kitchen counter goes instead."

Matt's face reddened, shoulders rising up defensively. "Do you have to be so vulgar about it?"

Mello's smirk continued to grow. "Don't want people listening about how you beg to take it up the ass?"

"Mello!"

A voice was cleared besides them and Mello looked up, smugness spreading like a physical wave around him, as if daring the waitress to say something. Matt, embarrassed, stared at the table. "Are you doing okay? Do you need more water?" she asked, voice tight.

Mello reached across the table, snatching one of Matt's hands and squeezing it. The redhead knew better than to pull away when he was trying to prove a point. "No, we're doing fine. Right, Matt?" he asked sweetly.

"Yep, just fine," he said, boredom leaking into his tone.

The waitress shuffled. "Would you mind not speaking of such activities so loudly? You're disturbing the other diners."

"They don't seem disturbed," Mello replied neutrally. "And I wasn't talking particularly loudly."

Her voice was growing more frustrated by the second. "Sir, if you would just listen-"

"No you listen," he interrupted, voice rising. His hand was squeezing Matt's so tightly he could feel the bones shifting. "I came out here to have a nice night with my boyfriend, and I have just as much of a right to do that as any of the other fucking people sitting in this restaurant!" His voice had risen and a lot of people had turned towards their table now.

"Would you keep your voice down?"

"I wouldn't have to if you minded your own business and stopped bothering me and my date." Mello's voice was cold, hand clenching Matt's tighter.

Her voice was solid when she spoke next. "I've been working here for a number of years, and I doubt any of the customers appreciate having to listen to your personal lives, or being forced to watch you." She looked at their hands pointedly.

People were turned around in their seats, craning necks to watch the drama unfold in front of them. Mello made a conscious effort to stay polite. "If you don't mind, we're doing fine, we've ordered, and I'd rather not see your hideous face until I have to so I can get my food. It's ruining my appetite."

She sputtered incoherently and fled, shooting Mello a glare over her shoulder as she went. People continued to stare, but Mello's withering gaze cause many to quickly look away. He shot a victorious look at Matt who rolled his eyes. "Must you always make a scene?" the redhead asked.

Mello grunted noncommittally, and the two fell into idle chatter until a new shadow fell over them. This time it was a middle aged man, his oversized stomach wobbling unattractively as he stared down at them. Mello looked up. "Is there a problem?"

"I've gotten complaints that you have been harassing my waitress," he said, a proud note of power in his voice.

"She was harassing us!"

He ignored the protest. "I'm sorry but I cannot let a customer be rude to my staff. She was just doing her job. I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he replied, unsympathetic.

Mello slammed his water glass on the table, water sloshing over the sides. "I don't give a fuck about your fucking heterosexist staff!" Mello ranted. "What I fucking _want _is the good old days where customers were always fucking _right_ and where I could eat my damn meal in _peace _without other people's closed minds invading my personal space!"

"Mels…"

"Sir-"

"We were sitting here, minding our own business, and she came over with an attitude about the way we choose to live our lives. We weren't even kissing or touching, just to keep the fucking homophobes from being sick."

The manager looked fairly ill himself, skin turning an odd shade of white after having all of Mello's anger directed towards him. "If you don't calm down and leave I'll…I'll have to call the cops."

Mello shook his head, standing suddenly and cause the table to scrape loudly against the wood floor. "You fucking do that," he growled, shoving passed the waiter and hauling Matt up by the elbow. He took one look at the stares of the entire restaurant, leaned in, and placed an obnoxious kiss on his boyfriend's lips, hands tangling in his hair, tongue practically shoved down his throat. When he pulled back Matt looked slightly dazed, but didn't protest when Mello's arm went around his shoulders and tugged him towards the door. He gathered himself enough to flip the manager off and allowed himself to be led outside.

Mello was seething, the anger practically tangible as they left the restaurant. He turned, as if to storm back inside, but Matt lifted a hand and pulled him to a stop. "Don't, it's not worth it."

"I'm so sick of those people!"

"I know," he consoled. "They're just uneducated. Ignore them."

Mello snarled, kicking the trashcan near the entrance hard enough that it rolled into the middle of the street, a car swerving around it and just managing to avoid a crash. Matt grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the car. Mello put up a resistance at first, cursing and ranting about the indecency of people, Matt nodding and saying "I know," as they walked to the car. Finally Mello calmed enough to be convinced to get in and drive off before the manager really did call the cops.

Mello, still mumbling obscenities under his breath, swerved around a car going a mere ten miles over the speed limit. Matt calmly buckled his seat belt, glancing at Mello uneasily. "You should really buckle up."

"Shut up."

Matt stared out the window at the rapidly approaching cars, Mello going around them without using his signal. The blare of horns followed in their wake. "If you're going to drive like a madman buckle up."

"Stupid, nagging little…"he trailed off, taking a hand off the wheel to reach for his seatbelt. "Happy?"

Matt hummed under his breath. "Let's just head home, kay?"

"But-"

"I told you we should have just stayed home," Matt said, ignoring the murderous look tossed his way. "Now you're pissed and won't enjoy the rest of the holiday. Let's just go back to the apartment, warm up the leftover pasta in the fridge, and watch a movie. We can have potato chips if you really want a side dish. And for desert we can just have chocolate." He glanced at the blond. "Or," he amended, "we could pick up some strawberries and chocolate sauce. That's always good."

Mello sighed, but the agitation had begun to leave him shoulders relaxing as he slowed the car to a more acceptable speed. "Only if I get to choose the movie," he said finally.

"Fine," Matt agreed readily, quickly rolling down the window a bit and lighting a cigarette. "And afterwards we can have super kinky counter sex. Consider it a Valentine's Day present."

"But I didn't get you anything," Mello teased. "I just planned on taking you to dinner, and that didn't end up going so well."

"What, you think I'll get nothing out of sex with you?" Matt joked.

"Yeah, but kinky counter sex is for me. We need kinky sex for you too," Mello said, expression having brightened considerably since the conversation began. "Hey, do any of your controllers vibrate?"

Matt choked on his cigarette, harsh coughs and Mello's ringing laughter filling the car. It might not be the most conventional Valentine's day, but it was sure to be interesting.

…Though Matt really hoped Mello was kidding about the controllers.

/…/…/…/

AN: It's done at last haha. A special shout out to Dlvvanzor for helping me with a couple lines of dialogue, and to my friend Roxas, for inspiring the duo's plan to warm up leftovers and consequently, inspired much of the restaurant scene. Thanks for reading.


End file.
